How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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