when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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