So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
