Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
