You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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