her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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