the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
