some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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