well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
