I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
