ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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