sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
