I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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