Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
