Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
