I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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