I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
