I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
