I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
