Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
