We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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