If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
and she was petting her beer can
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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