I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
