It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
