Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
