I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
