If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
