That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
