He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
