I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
