Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
