I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
