He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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