p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
