Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
