In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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