i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
