i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
