He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
