Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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