Where is the hickey?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
