White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
