I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
