I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
