apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
