Where are you?
In a non slutty way
id be glad to
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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