You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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