i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
