Me too!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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