True but thats because hes a fetus.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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