I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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